Wednesday, January 28, 2015
Apology
I already apologized, but I was upset at people. Guess I should try to avoid them even more. I do think about things. Some things bother me. If you don't like me now is fine.
Ellen
The 1st lady who came on was really sweet. She was an obese African American woman. She was self-conscious and funny.
Usher was so smart and with it in his decisions of what statement to make in what he did on Ellen.
The 2 twin singers with curly partly white blonde hair from Canada with guitars were so cool! Their voices were so excited, and they've got their work cut out for them.
Ellen seemed rather with it and together, maybe frustrated maybe not! I did get a bit uncomfortable, but Ellen is Ellen and she choses what she does. It's too bad people ruin it for others in things. Some people want nothing but what's best, but people will come in and start preaching about torturing work and such.
Usher was so smart and with it in his decisions of what statement to make in what he did on Ellen.
The 2 twin singers with curly partly white blonde hair from Canada with guitars were so cool! Their voices were so excited, and they've got their work cut out for them.
Ellen seemed rather with it and together, maybe frustrated maybe not! I did get a bit uncomfortable, but Ellen is Ellen and she choses what she does. It's too bad people ruin it for others in things. Some people want nothing but what's best, but people will come in and start preaching about torturing work and such.
Gramma
I see she's behind a lot of the plot of the drama in my life. How wretched. All this punishment back and forth. Saying everyone's life is on edge and then not knowing what she just said/did.
I did make a post before, but my internet stopped. I saved it and forgot about it and deleted it.
I like my Gramma, but I don't like what she did. I didn't agree with her, and she almost killed my mom with cancer by bothering her.
I did make a post before, but my internet stopped. I saved it and forgot about it and deleted it.
I like my Gramma, but I don't like what she did. I didn't agree with her, and she almost killed my mom with cancer by bothering her.
Problem
I sensed everyone is mean to me cuza my Gramma, trying to please her that life includes bad things to me/now. Sarcastic: I'll set you all in a confusion. No hard feelings on anything by anyone, don't need to pay attention to me.
Dr. Phil - Twitter
"Today’s Show: Is there ever a reason to defend someone who is physically violent toward you? #DrPhil #DefendingAbuse"
Yes. It's against the law to hurt them.
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Someone could track you down, at least that's how it is with me. I guess you just gotta do something. If someone isn't locked up..
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(call in abusive relationship)
What if it's just their attitude?
Yes. It's against the law to hurt them.
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Someone could track you down, at least that's how it is with me. I guess you just gotta do something. If someone isn't locked up..
---
(call in abusive relationship)
What if it's just their attitude?
Dr. Phil - Facebook
@Tiffany Helean - Yes, people go on here for a moment of fame rather than stari their own sho'.
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Yea, she was just in bunches of trouble. A nice girl tho. Glad to see her on the sho'.
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Just think of all the people who freak out when they leave on the stove. I was taking a walk far away once when I did that.
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I do keep an online journal of my problems so people can sort out the emotional abuse I suffer. Some people just flip me off about that. You never know who it will reach and people you know online to tap you in the right direction.
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Everyone feels partially abused. My mom is sick recovering from cancer and cannot hold her own, "at this time." I wish the hurricane didn't affect where we were to live when my family was gonna make a split, but instead it was "a smash." I feel beat up. The way they do it is subtle. I need to practice more caring for myself at home. The only way I get off unnecessary meds is to leave home, but I'll never be ready stuck on the meds. I am starting to be awake in the morning for more time alone, so that might work. My parents even said stay tho sometimes they wanna throw me to the streets just for asking why they are mean politely like. They want me to learn to care for myself 1st, but on meds anyway I will lose a lot of energy. They can't say they wanna throw me out while they didn't let me leave when I asked. I'm 28, too. I almost got a job in Miami.
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People here misinterpret my history. I did one thing slightly disobedient and it's enough to diagnose you with schizphrenia..
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It's very hard to break a habit totally that you love that isn't simply wrong, like drugs.
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Yea, she was just in bunches of trouble. A nice girl tho. Glad to see her on the sho'.
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Just think of all the people who freak out when they leave on the stove. I was taking a walk far away once when I did that.
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I do keep an online journal of my problems so people can sort out the emotional abuse I suffer. Some people just flip me off about that. You never know who it will reach and people you know online to tap you in the right direction.
---
Everyone feels partially abused. My mom is sick recovering from cancer and cannot hold her own, "at this time." I wish the hurricane didn't affect where we were to live when my family was gonna make a split, but instead it was "a smash." I feel beat up. The way they do it is subtle. I need to practice more caring for myself at home. The only way I get off unnecessary meds is to leave home, but I'll never be ready stuck on the meds. I am starting to be awake in the morning for more time alone, so that might work. My parents even said stay tho sometimes they wanna throw me to the streets just for asking why they are mean politely like. They want me to learn to care for myself 1st, but on meds anyway I will lose a lot of energy. They can't say they wanna throw me out while they didn't let me leave when I asked. I'm 28, too. I almost got a job in Miami.
---
People here misinterpret my history. I did one thing slightly disobedient and it's enough to diagnose you with schizphrenia..
---
It's very hard to break a habit totally that you love that isn't simply wrong, like drugs.
Dr. Phil
The 1st girl was very attractive. So, what was it she was there for? Oh yes, going to jail for a year for the police insisting she lit the house on fire. Her mom seems to trust her, so it seems unlikely.
The 2nd girl came for getting a video over 5 million views saying to accept a boy punishing you who like beats you up. She said a lot of things about it I quite didn't get. Robin said she was wrong, that her relationship was indeed wrong and abusive. The girl walked off when Phil said she wa merely an attention-getter, whatever that means. Maybe, that's why she said what she said, but I didn't find them saying that.
The 2nd girl came for getting a video over 5 million views saying to accept a boy punishing you who like beats you up. She said a lot of things about it I quite didn't get. Robin said she was wrong, that her relationship was indeed wrong and abusive. The girl walked off when Phil said she wa merely an attention-getter, whatever that means. Maybe, that's why she said what she said, but I didn't find them saying that.
Why Music Ed DMA
Singing - I will do it in that major, anyway. I don't wanna be an opera singer. What else is there to do? My old college even says, "Everyone sings." The singing major is a certain more outgoing personality of like loud, sloppy people..
Dance - I wanna just focus on ballet, but I don't have the money for private lessons. It's a nightmare. I can't keep up in class cuz I can't remember the steps cuz I did gymnastics.
Performance in general.. I want to be famous for performing, my singing and if I can get private ballet from money like acting or selling something. I want college on the side. Lotta dancers go into graphic design, others get cancer and die. (?) I did ballet to age 21. I "have it." I love to dance. I just can't afford it. I don't wanna do dance and nothing else, maybe. I also really wanna sing.
I'll get the DME by turning 37.
Dance - I wanna just focus on ballet, but I don't have the money for private lessons. It's a nightmare. I can't keep up in class cuz I can't remember the steps cuz I did gymnastics.
Performance in general.. I want to be famous for performing, my singing and if I can get private ballet from money like acting or selling something. I want college on the side. Lotta dancers go into graphic design, others get cancer and die. (?) I did ballet to age 21. I "have it." I love to dance. I just can't afford it. I don't wanna do dance and nothing else, maybe. I also really wanna sing.
I'll get the DME by turning 37.
Dr. Phil - Facebook
50 Shades? I am a big fan of fantasy, but I am no longer the age of a college student, which is why I don't know anything else about it.
Dr. Phil - Facebook
But Dr. Phil they'll just take me instead I'm over 18 and kicked outta the house!
Well, I've lost it.
I was supposed to be more careful in referencing people secretly. What did I think? I think people are scardy cats. They don't have to pay attention to me.
Schedule
I wonder if it's good I think I'll try to go to bed early and wake up early rather than the other way around. I don't have time alone in the house. I need to cook, do laundry, do the dishes. :) I'm a homebody now. I wonder how community college will go. In the summer, I think the TV shows take off.
Upsset
I wonder why I was denied to be on the Dr. Phil show. I made it to 2 submissions. I did ask if my topic was appropriate for the show when they asked for questions, and I submitted right away but was not accepted. I made a new submission I will keep resubmitting. I wonder if I should make a summary available sometime. 1 lady wrote 12 times to get on the show. See, it' about if someone beats you, not that your case was not good. So, you can keep resubmitting.
Problem
Every time I wake up, they pretend to be a character I don't like. I think I've even counted 3 days.
Also, they think I care and want them in my face insulting me from different people.
Also, they think I care and want them in my face insulting me from different people.
More to Talk About
Sometimes, I feel so violated that the bumps on the side of my arm prickle. On the side my dad is driving.
Trying Hard
not to be rude? I don't feel grudges ATM (at the moment.) When someone does something wrong, sometimes it matters. What I said wasn't addressed to anyone and may not make anyone feel better. It was all safe within the insult from the opposing parties.
Threats
See, I am not even reporting to the police and already 2 people on board "don't have it together."
Well, I figured it out. That person/those 2 people are the only ones with the big problem. It's the rest of the world okay. No one get close to them, tho.. too bad they are involved in me.
Well, I figured it out. That person/those 2 people are the only ones with the big problem. It's the rest of the world okay. No one get close to them, tho.. too bad they are involved in me.
Dr. Phil - Facebook - Response to Fan
Well, if there were no rules, the people in life worse off wouldn't care about mean people.
Dr. Phil - Facebook
She is playing a flimsy game. She says someone else can do things she actually did. She gets a response, that it's okay, but then she does things much worse.
Apology
At the table, some bad words came. Sorry to inconvenience anyone. Will try to make sure those words don't come, tho!
More
I used to buy things with store cards that my parents can't pay back, too. I am about to start community college and may do student work.
More
Another big thing was the internet. I kept e-mailing friends and family tho they stopped e-mailing me and now I lost all my relationships. It was tips and things and saying I was finishing the last thought and apologizing for the spam. I finally got on other sites more and eventually the IMDb message boards and blogging. I got really mad at someone who likes me and now he doesn't talk to me but seems to wanna. Lotta people said I wasn't white racially, and I'd hit my wall if something happened, like a trigger response. I just kept punching holes in the walls thinking it would get them back. That's insane. That does nothing. I feel bad cuz my dad had to plaster it up while I was at the mental hospital. This went on a long time, maybe about a year. Lotta people when I was online wold act like I spammed in being detailed and kick me out of Johnny Depp message boards. I was even banned from IMDb a few times for no reason. This went on a long time. I was called an idiot. My name was Miss-Fastidious, and they said I was Fastidiot. I was trapped in my room, kicked outta school on a break to catch up on much needed rest, and this is my only outlet, not even seeing my family, and I experienced constant hatred like this online for years. Now, I just can't get anyone to comment on my blog in my forum. It seems like the years wasted away from when I got on at 21, all mesmerized by Tim Burton and Johnny Depp thinking I'd be discovered or find my way starring in a movie. I even lost my singing voice, how good it was. I thought that'd help with the acting. Now, I'm 28. I was kicked outta my college majors when I was 19 and left at 20. The medicine used to put me to sleep more. Since I started getting out more, I can stay awake longer and have a better attention span. Things might have turned out okay if I didn't curse on my blog, about the noises and when my dad made me mad. Lotta times I'd bleep out the bad words, but you'd know they were there. I'm sure I've slipped, at least with my dad, and said something.. but I don't think it was ever at him directly and openly. I skirted around those situations. I was mad, in general. I bet more people made me mad, as I have said. I feel the magic of what was promised to me is gone, too. This happened way, long before the cursing for like a year or a year and a half. I was cursing about the noises in my room that sent secret messages somehow in how they sounded that bothered me and hurt me and still do, tho I stopped cursing about it. I made it a point not to curse anyone out specifically.
Letter to Dr. Phil show
(I will keep resubmitting the same thing to see if I get tallied a spot, again, to some level in the game. I will probably edit.)
Hello, Dr. Phil show, my name is Christina Barrett, and I am a 28-year-old female who lives with my parents. I am Irish, Dutch, French, German, and 1/2 Dutch Chinese-Indonesian. I'm straight and single. My height is 5'3", and I have black hair and dark brown eyes. I look mostly Caucasian, but a lotta people seem to sense I am Asian.
So, I am from an interracial marriage. I felt even very young my life was just a contest where I couldn't feel anything but had to get things down so I could function emotionally and socially in my future. My parents just made sure I always had a good attitude and were suggestive to me in the silence if they sensed I did not like the things they did to me, treating me with a cold shoulder like I wasn't as good as my dad racially cuz I was darker supposedly and that I wasn't as attractive as my young-looking mother. This made it so I was rather dysfunctional. I always sensed those around me "knew the whole rap about me" from birth, like I have 2 parents with perfect manners. I feel them rolling their eyes at me that that didn't matter but that I would never be as social as most people, on top of the racial and differences issues. I suppose a lotta more obese women make me feel good about myself for being a more substantial person. However, there are so many ultra-skinny, spoiled brats of youth today. They get skinny, but they don't seem more holistic. I wake up each morning feeling I don't matter because of them, with their younger sexy mothers and youthful dads. People, I feel, do snap at me inconveniently for wanting to be thought of in the world as part of the youth socially. I feel no one wants me cuz I was told to leave college and get rest at home, but it's been 10 years and I think I'm going back to my old major now.
It seems that no matter what I do, my dad will try to secretly manipulate my life to hurt me cuz it came out when my dad came home just for fun, I said, "O, no," but he didn't say, "Don't say that, Christina." So, I kept doing it, probably assuming he knew it was a joke that I was just sad my homework was still not done after working - all - after - noon. I did stop when my mom told me. Eventually, 6th grade, I could no longer focus on studies and kept slowing down but did not want to think of why. I was tall off the charts but stayed short the rest of my life therein. I blame this sin for this. Perhaps, it's not in my dad to bring it up nor forgive me. I feel it's killing my life. I wonder about a lot of things, like why my dad's bank was gonna close, or, rather, merge, and we had to leave Florida. We'd been moving back and forth between the key areas of Florida.
In school, people would pick on me, probably for my race.
Another big thing on my conscious was when I was a younger kid, like 8, my cousins from Indonesia wrote to us. I forgot to write back, like I could not think of it around my mom. They had such nice stationary, and I didn't.
In my junior year of high school, I was called to the counselor, like I didn't look as good. I had a teacher for American History Advanced Placement/Gifted who said not to take the course simply if we didn't wanna take the AP test. I had a D in the 1st test, and I would lose my 4.0. I fell behind because of going to the counselor during class. I was in Physics, Advanced Math, and English IV. That New Year's Eve, I was taken to the mental hospital. I said not to make me take medicine, and they lied. I was told I had nothing wrong. They just called it schizophrenia. I threw some things mad in the house more recently and got sent to the mental hospital again, 2010. They said since it said I had schizophrenia before that I had it, along with bipolar and Autism - Aspergers. I was set on pills again. I got off. I went to college with a theater teacher I liked, and she and the class I felt picking at me and got sent away for overreacting, like hitting my folder with a pen or kicking chairs when mad. People in Orlando are extremely ridiculous in how mean they are in how they act to you. Things do change here, tho. I ended up in the hospital again, and now I have no freedom to get off medicine according to my mom. I think she's doing it to please my dad, who said if I went back after 2 times here, that he wouldn't come get me to come home. He acted like I got a big break by pleaing to come home, like maybe the psychiatrist isn't right. It was an out of place judgement.
I flunked out of 8 semesters of college. I kept being annoyed ever since Charlie and the Chocolate Factory (2005) came out. No one knew the world would end up like it is today. There were noises that bothered me, and the classes were harder than high school. I had nothing near that hard. I do have 1 successful year of Music Education, Ballet, and Honors. They said I was too shy to sing and do Music Ed and to leave. This put my whole future on the line. I am now 28 with no college degree and wasn't working since high school. I am allowed to go back to a community college here, now, and take Music Education and singing again. Ever since we moved here to Orlando, people acted like they called me the N word, like I'd see them bend their arm or knee like an "N." The way they talked around me also suggested they could tell I was a failure and not even a member of the white race, tho I am not black.
The main reason I called to come here was cuz my whole life is messed up. These mistakes I mentioned. People all used to say I was perfect, nice, shy, sweet, and smart. Now, everyone I know for like 10 years it seems has been acting like I'm bad. It catches on so that it travels with me in public to people I don't know. Like all of them would act meanly around me, make noises that really bothered me. I think this drove me insane. I used to e-mail friends and family about helpful topics like spam but explaining myself and saying sorry for spamming. I have no real life friends. So, constantly, people act like I'm bad all around me, the general public. The people in my family and extended family act like they made some group decision to be mean with an attitude around me. I'm always surrounded by this. They do what the other people say they want done to me that's mean in attitude. They act like I did something but also that I'm not racially white. So, all around, people have attitudes towards me and bother me with like the sounds they make and have been for like 10 years. I know cuz it happened after I flunked out of college. It's not my fault it was too hard. I just was too irresponsible to to withdraw on time. Even people I meet can sense I did something bad somehow. I can tell. Every time I go out of my room and see someone, this happens. I can't even concentrate in private.
I have other issues. I'm not here to let you say you force me to get closer to my dad nor mom. I am not from LA and am from New Orleans and I know I am a grown-up who passed the test into adult independency. I like my parents, but I want to get closer to other people. No one knows how. I am on social media, such as Facebook, and I don't have much luck with it, these days. I've had so many acocunts. I've lost friends. I am here to get to know people, not crawl into a hole with my own parents, like they are strangers to me I need to meet. I don't feel sexually close to them as I do with others, and I am guessing my parents are just like that. I don't get to talk to others much, but I am more attracted to them than I am to my parents, tho I also love my parents, of course. I'm here to settle the score with why I don't know many people and not at all to learn to bond with my parents. If my parents treat me one way, so do people in public. It's people in public I wanna know who have problems with me. I can tell by some of what I've seen of the more typical people. I will say I think my parents are mad at me and treat me with an attitude because of the things I did I mentioned. I really don't like a fractured family. They can't seem to act like I don't have a problem, too.
Also, there are speakers and cameras planted around my room. They can make noises and affect how the page loads. This has been bothering me that they are mad at me. They used to be "secret lovers" and I want that back, instead. They don't have to do anything, tho, especially if they don't really like me. They act like my dad decided the bad things for me, but it seems also that even my Gramma and others have. Even before this happened, I could not concentrate because I could see my dad no longer accepted me. I had to look out for being called the N word in secret message by others since another event. I thought someone online saying I wasn't white with different IMDb Message Boards accounts wanted me to call them the N word so I did. Now I am in trouble and it was the last straw. It seems like the whole world found out and no one will be as nice to me as before nor praise me about all that I am, just because of this. I suppose the worst dagger was when the noises started. I cursed about them and sometimes about my dad's being mean. I was careful and didn't try to scar them, just curse about my anger and not so much about people totally. That's the straw that then broke the camel's back. No one will forgive me. I guess it was wrong, but lotta popular people curse.. It was a way to express myself. I thought the curse words were funny, but they call such a reaction. I grew up never cursing, see. So, this meant something was wrong, not me being possessed all of a sudden.
Here is a list of problems up on my website:
http://christinabarrett4.wix.com/official#!trouble/c1ym6
http://christinabarrett4.wix.com/official#!life-problems/cia0
http://christinabarrett4.wix.com/official#!complaints/c19hh
http://christinabarrett4.wix.com/official#!my-sins/c1xmw
http://www.christinabarrett.com/search/label/Problems
Thank you, Dr. Phil show.
Sincerely,
Christina Barrett
Hello, Dr. Phil show, my name is Christina Barrett, and I am a 28-year-old female who lives with my parents. I am Irish, Dutch, French, German, and 1/2 Dutch Chinese-Indonesian. I'm straight and single. My height is 5'3", and I have black hair and dark brown eyes. I look mostly Caucasian, but a lotta people seem to sense I am Asian.
So, I am from an interracial marriage. I felt even very young my life was just a contest where I couldn't feel anything but had to get things down so I could function emotionally and socially in my future. My parents just made sure I always had a good attitude and were suggestive to me in the silence if they sensed I did not like the things they did to me, treating me with a cold shoulder like I wasn't as good as my dad racially cuz I was darker supposedly and that I wasn't as attractive as my young-looking mother. This made it so I was rather dysfunctional. I always sensed those around me "knew the whole rap about me" from birth, like I have 2 parents with perfect manners. I feel them rolling their eyes at me that that didn't matter but that I would never be as social as most people, on top of the racial and differences issues. I suppose a lotta more obese women make me feel good about myself for being a more substantial person. However, there are so many ultra-skinny, spoiled brats of youth today. They get skinny, but they don't seem more holistic. I wake up each morning feeling I don't matter because of them, with their younger sexy mothers and youthful dads. People, I feel, do snap at me inconveniently for wanting to be thought of in the world as part of the youth socially. I feel no one wants me cuz I was told to leave college and get rest at home, but it's been 10 years and I think I'm going back to my old major now.
It seems that no matter what I do, my dad will try to secretly manipulate my life to hurt me cuz it came out when my dad came home just for fun, I said, "O, no," but he didn't say, "Don't say that, Christina." So, I kept doing it, probably assuming he knew it was a joke that I was just sad my homework was still not done after working - all - after - noon. I did stop when my mom told me. Eventually, 6th grade, I could no longer focus on studies and kept slowing down but did not want to think of why. I was tall off the charts but stayed short the rest of my life therein. I blame this sin for this. Perhaps, it's not in my dad to bring it up nor forgive me. I feel it's killing my life. I wonder about a lot of things, like why my dad's bank was gonna close, or, rather, merge, and we had to leave Florida. We'd been moving back and forth between the key areas of Florida.
In school, people would pick on me, probably for my race.
Another big thing on my conscious was when I was a younger kid, like 8, my cousins from Indonesia wrote to us. I forgot to write back, like I could not think of it around my mom. They had such nice stationary, and I didn't.
In my junior year of high school, I was called to the counselor, like I didn't look as good. I had a teacher for American History Advanced Placement/Gifted who said not to take the course simply if we didn't wanna take the AP test. I had a D in the 1st test, and I would lose my 4.0. I fell behind because of going to the counselor during class. I was in Physics, Advanced Math, and English IV. That New Year's Eve, I was taken to the mental hospital. I said not to make me take medicine, and they lied. I was told I had nothing wrong. They just called it schizophrenia. I threw some things mad in the house more recently and got sent to the mental hospital again, 2010. They said since it said I had schizophrenia before that I had it, along with bipolar and Autism - Aspergers. I was set on pills again. I got off. I went to college with a theater teacher I liked, and she and the class I felt picking at me and got sent away for overreacting, like hitting my folder with a pen or kicking chairs when mad. People in Orlando are extremely ridiculous in how mean they are in how they act to you. Things do change here, tho. I ended up in the hospital again, and now I have no freedom to get off medicine according to my mom. I think she's doing it to please my dad, who said if I went back after 2 times here, that he wouldn't come get me to come home. He acted like I got a big break by pleaing to come home, like maybe the psychiatrist isn't right. It was an out of place judgement.
I flunked out of 8 semesters of college. I kept being annoyed ever since Charlie and the Chocolate Factory (2005) came out. No one knew the world would end up like it is today. There were noises that bothered me, and the classes were harder than high school. I had nothing near that hard. I do have 1 successful year of Music Education, Ballet, and Honors. They said I was too shy to sing and do Music Ed and to leave. This put my whole future on the line. I am now 28 with no college degree and wasn't working since high school. I am allowed to go back to a community college here, now, and take Music Education and singing again. Ever since we moved here to Orlando, people acted like they called me the N word, like I'd see them bend their arm or knee like an "N." The way they talked around me also suggested they could tell I was a failure and not even a member of the white race, tho I am not black.
The main reason I called to come here was cuz my whole life is messed up. These mistakes I mentioned. People all used to say I was perfect, nice, shy, sweet, and smart. Now, everyone I know for like 10 years it seems has been acting like I'm bad. It catches on so that it travels with me in public to people I don't know. Like all of them would act meanly around me, make noises that really bothered me. I think this drove me insane. I used to e-mail friends and family about helpful topics like spam but explaining myself and saying sorry for spamming. I have no real life friends. So, constantly, people act like I'm bad all around me, the general public. The people in my family and extended family act like they made some group decision to be mean with an attitude around me. I'm always surrounded by this. They do what the other people say they want done to me that's mean in attitude. They act like I did something but also that I'm not racially white. So, all around, people have attitudes towards me and bother me with like the sounds they make and have been for like 10 years. I know cuz it happened after I flunked out of college. It's not my fault it was too hard. I just was too irresponsible to to withdraw on time. Even people I meet can sense I did something bad somehow. I can tell. Every time I go out of my room and see someone, this happens. I can't even concentrate in private.
I have other issues. I'm not here to let you say you force me to get closer to my dad nor mom. I am not from LA and am from New Orleans and I know I am a grown-up who passed the test into adult independency. I like my parents, but I want to get closer to other people. No one knows how. I am on social media, such as Facebook, and I don't have much luck with it, these days. I've had so many acocunts. I've lost friends. I am here to get to know people, not crawl into a hole with my own parents, like they are strangers to me I need to meet. I don't feel sexually close to them as I do with others, and I am guessing my parents are just like that. I don't get to talk to others much, but I am more attracted to them than I am to my parents, tho I also love my parents, of course. I'm here to settle the score with why I don't know many people and not at all to learn to bond with my parents. If my parents treat me one way, so do people in public. It's people in public I wanna know who have problems with me. I can tell by some of what I've seen of the more typical people. I will say I think my parents are mad at me and treat me with an attitude because of the things I did I mentioned. I really don't like a fractured family. They can't seem to act like I don't have a problem, too.
Also, there are speakers and cameras planted around my room. They can make noises and affect how the page loads. This has been bothering me that they are mad at me. They used to be "secret lovers" and I want that back, instead. They don't have to do anything, tho, especially if they don't really like me. They act like my dad decided the bad things for me, but it seems also that even my Gramma and others have. Even before this happened, I could not concentrate because I could see my dad no longer accepted me. I had to look out for being called the N word in secret message by others since another event. I thought someone online saying I wasn't white with different IMDb Message Boards accounts wanted me to call them the N word so I did. Now I am in trouble and it was the last straw. It seems like the whole world found out and no one will be as nice to me as before nor praise me about all that I am, just because of this. I suppose the worst dagger was when the noises started. I cursed about them and sometimes about my dad's being mean. I was careful and didn't try to scar them, just curse about my anger and not so much about people totally. That's the straw that then broke the camel's back. No one will forgive me. I guess it was wrong, but lotta popular people curse.. It was a way to express myself. I thought the curse words were funny, but they call such a reaction. I grew up never cursing, see. So, this meant something was wrong, not me being possessed all of a sudden.
Here is a list of problems up on my website:
http://christinabarrett4.wix.com/official#!trouble/c1ym6
http://christinabarrett4.wix.com/official#!life-problems/cia0
http://christinabarrett4.wix.com/official#!complaints/c19hh
http://christinabarrett4.wix.com/official#!my-sins/c1xmw
http://www.christinabarrett.com/search/label/Problems
Thank you, Dr. Phil show.
Sincerely,
Christina Barrett
Apology
They startled me before, as well, about something to do with my future kids, and they kinda gave me a secluded situation. Sorry, I couldn't relay this differently then, what was done to upset me.
Adding this to My Sins.
Adding this to My Sins.
cont.
I guess Jackie Evancho just wants to be like that. I liked her better pumped up, instead of a long neck.
cont.
Chloe had made the bacon herself, and I liked it. I still do. Maybe, I eat it too much? I know of a diet that requires bacon + grapefruit to burn something. A friend's mom spoke of it for her husband.
Curious
I encouraged Chloe Grace Moretz to eat bacon, and I noticed she gained some meat. I know my meds make me even fatter and I tried some'a my bacon, which is not cooked much.
I asked Jackie Evancho if she got to use gym equipment prematurely cuz she looked "pumped up." It seemed a bit dangerous. Now, her neck is kinda big as in long. I hope I didn't do that. I told her I did gymnastics and dance, in hopes she'd reconsider. Didn't know she'd just stop, didn't know itd make her neck so long. She musta done it, tho. Like, I seen people who want a long neck. I tried to shrink my neck when I started to see it looking long.
I asked Jackie Evancho if she got to use gym equipment prematurely cuz she looked "pumped up." It seemed a bit dangerous. Now, her neck is kinda big as in long. I hope I didn't do that. I told her I did gymnastics and dance, in hopes she'd reconsider. Didn't know she'd just stop, didn't know itd make her neck so long. She musta done it, tho. Like, I seen people who want a long neck. I tried to shrink my neck when I started to see it looking long.
Is it worth it that I hardly know anyone and teens are made to feel pleasurably dizzy in an outwardly comfortable way about how they fit in a generation??
Family Guy, Wonka is on. The Oompa Loompas just collected a bad egg, so-to-speak. You know, there are problems and they just come in and exterminate?
Family Guy, Wonka is on. The Oompa Loompas just collected a bad egg, so-to-speak. You know, there are problems and they just come in and exterminate?
Other Choices
I could get a note from my psychiatrist to go back to my old community college. They have dance. I want to do music, too.. and I love art. Their dance style may not be suited to my needs. I want to earn money to get a private ballet instructor. I am now like jogging every day with weights. I probably lost a lotta ballet skill at this point. I just can't see myself okaying the current option. Music Education, basically involves your major instrument or singing, and I chose General Music Ed with singing as my "instrument." It is a nice twist on something I like. I like the science of music, like soaking it in like that. I love the idea of presenting myself for children. In the summer, I can do courses that require 15 hours of teaching. With the DME, I can train other teachers, research as they do at the doctorate level, etc. I also love science labs. College will always give me something to do. I guess I should stick with one thing. I can take other courses for fun if I wanted, but what you do is get good at one thing with related things. I guess science would help with music, physics. I am guessing scientists do some of that work. I just wanna fit in with my age, too. There will be people older than me coming back to get their Masterns and Doctorates, I assume. I didn't know what I wanted, at 1st. I am glad I am doing 1/2 my degree at a community college. I plan to go to UCF maybe for the BME. They have a program in General Studies. It is considered a prestigious university and more "clean cut." I might get into the private school, might be a good environment.
School
I feel that Performing Arts is like skipping school and I should work towards a DME - Doctorate of Music Education. I wanna perform, but I like this and am good at it, maybe. There will be other people my age and older working on this degree.
Dr. Phil - Facebook
Response to Fan
I had a hard time in college cuz I wasn't used to lecturing and such. I think I will get an AA 1st before continuing on in Music Ed to the DME level (doctorate of Music Ed. Yes, you could ge ta PhD, instead, which seems more like a BA than a BME or BM, fyi.) It's sad to see on'e future jeapordized for silly little resaons in college, cuz we need life to go smoothly so bad things don't hapen.
I had a hard time in college cuz I wasn't used to lecturing and such. I think I will get an AA 1st before continuing on in Music Ed to the DME level (doctorate of Music Ed. Yes, you could ge ta PhD, instead, which seems more like a BA than a BME or BM, fyi.) It's sad to see on'e future jeapordized for silly little resaons in college, cuz we need life to go smoothly so bad things don't hapen.
Weird
I was thinking something I cannot remember when I used "the word" pleasure to express something, doesn't make sense now, about me suffering big things from little mistakes.
Musicians
They are playing the Trout Quintet on the baby channel, watermelons as the Merry-go-Round horses with no people. And it's night. Sh.
Ellen
She's having a nice birthday week, in a way.
The guy who came on from Black and White was nice. I might go see it. I wanted to catch Mortdecai.
I don't remember anyone else on it.
So, the guy said the movie was about a multiracial child. She does look all African American. I think African Americans should learn more about themselves. I think cavemen came 1st and they went and got dark skin. So, we're all related like that. I'm not sure why Asians are so weird, some. They can be strict and mad and possessive. If they read this, I'd be in some trouble. I just don't like that they really are no better than anyone else cuz I know they'd like all white people and Native American indians themselves over me.
So, nice show. Hope Ellen has a good birthday week! The people in the audience look so happy. I hope her fans are having a good time. I wonder if they knew her since before internet. I'm glad she's catching onto different famous people, at least. I wish her fans would talk to me on my forum. I could post it or send it to her and she could read your writing.
The guy who came on from Black and White was nice. I might go see it. I wanted to catch Mortdecai.
I don't remember anyone else on it.
So, the guy said the movie was about a multiracial child. She does look all African American. I think African Americans should learn more about themselves. I think cavemen came 1st and they went and got dark skin. So, we're all related like that. I'm not sure why Asians are so weird, some. They can be strict and mad and possessive. If they read this, I'd be in some trouble. I just don't like that they really are no better than anyone else cuz I know they'd like all white people and Native American indians themselves over me.
So, nice show. Hope Ellen has a good birthday week! The people in the audience look so happy. I hope her fans are having a good time. I wonder if they knew her since before internet. I'm glad she's catching onto different famous people, at least. I wish her fans would talk to me on my forum. I could post it or send it to her and she could read your writing.
Tuesday, January 27, 2015
I didn't check yesterday. It takes so long to load! All the posts are so nonsensical. Why don't they have blog readers, instead? Twitter seems fun on-the-go. I didn't watch Ellen's birthday sho'. I am gonna watch today's after I eat, I guess. Guess I'll just hang. I really want mac and cheese. Maybe will be up for a salad tomorrow?
Dr. Phil - Twitter
You mean if someone "has an issue?" Yes, they might avert being direct.
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Well, my brother seems more interesting in different ways, but we don't share a home.
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Yes, it's an excellent thing to chose to do. It's a job where intelligence comes in interesting forms.
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I think it all has been messed up by careless adult figures who don't wish to be adults to children who aren't as much younger.
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Well, my brother seems more interesting in different ways, but we don't share a home.
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Yes, it's an excellent thing to chose to do. It's a job where intelligence comes in interesting forms.
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I think it all has been messed up by careless adult figures who don't wish to be adults to children who aren't as much younger.
Dr. Phil - Facebook
It is twisted that the father wants to keep the girls away from their mother. I say give the girls to the mother. The police do not listen to people after they know someone reported them and make unfair judgements and do not listen to the alleged perpetrater. They do not think that maybe there is something wrong with the perpetrater, that they had been mistreated.
---
That girl has a right to her own children, and if someone called the police on me that I did that, I'd be thrown in jail.
---
My therapist seemed concerned I indicated or hinted that I was like being abused emotionally by my dad. I asked why he was mean and said he lied, and he wanted to eventually throw me out the house that second or drop me off on the street, after making fun of me in life that I was sheltered and not allowed to like watch PG13 movies at any age even after 13. That's quite bipolar? When we drive and stuff he acts like he suddenly tries to get close to me, tho he always has a negative attitude about me and "what I've done" he thinks.. failing school, slipping my tongue to a degree, etc.
---
Post modern, or what's called like "post-post-modern/contemporary.." times is affected in every facet of life, from music to divorce to who knows what, the creation and deletion of certain jobs I'd think. I don't hear of anything big these days, like IT and some other positions that were common. It's probably the creation and deletion of bad kinds of music, too, in fact. On the topic more, modern you say to mean means more bending of the rules of family and existence. I don't really hear of "the importance of family," anymore, like everyone is socially rebelling. My family is modern insofar as I ended up "needing" a break from school or work and live at home with my parents at 28 still. I'm gonna get "in" and plant myself in community college this summer. I'm in on a grown-up's educational path, my original major of Music Education. So, the way people have families at odds is more natural than one thinks, like kids still seeing mom and dad. My parents hardy -ever- see their moms. It was about us kids and their ways of "secretly disciplining us" pretending we were good for image but telling us we weren't that good on the inside in how they treated each of us. They find it impossible to parent in the modern world and we almost were able to maybe all split up somehow.
---
(a girl saying a boy hitting you means love)
A lotta people would understand that. My good ole dad taught me that people bothering you means they are trying to get your "attention." That's a really big thing to know in life. Good luck on reception of this episode. I dunno, sometimes when I say something I mean it. It means I want more of you. I'm upset no one was really ever together. Do I have an STD?
---
That girl has a right to her own children, and if someone called the police on me that I did that, I'd be thrown in jail.
---
My therapist seemed concerned I indicated or hinted that I was like being abused emotionally by my dad. I asked why he was mean and said he lied, and he wanted to eventually throw me out the house that second or drop me off on the street, after making fun of me in life that I was sheltered and not allowed to like watch PG13 movies at any age even after 13. That's quite bipolar? When we drive and stuff he acts like he suddenly tries to get close to me, tho he always has a negative attitude about me and "what I've done" he thinks.. failing school, slipping my tongue to a degree, etc.
---
Post modern, or what's called like "post-post-modern/contemporary.." times is affected in every facet of life, from music to divorce to who knows what, the creation and deletion of certain jobs I'd think. I don't hear of anything big these days, like IT and some other positions that were common. It's probably the creation and deletion of bad kinds of music, too, in fact. On the topic more, modern you say to mean means more bending of the rules of family and existence. I don't really hear of "the importance of family," anymore, like everyone is socially rebelling. My family is modern insofar as I ended up "needing" a break from school or work and live at home with my parents at 28 still. I'm gonna get "in" and plant myself in community college this summer. I'm in on a grown-up's educational path, my original major of Music Education. So, the way people have families at odds is more natural than one thinks, like kids still seeing mom and dad. My parents hardy -ever- see their moms. It was about us kids and their ways of "secretly disciplining us" pretending we were good for image but telling us we weren't that good on the inside in how they treated each of us. They find it impossible to parent in the modern world and we almost were able to maybe all split up somehow.
---
(a girl saying a boy hitting you means love)
A lotta people would understand that. My good ole dad taught me that people bothering you means they are trying to get your "attention." That's a really big thing to know in life. Good luck on reception of this episode. I dunno, sometimes when I say something I mean it. It means I want more of you. I'm upset no one was really ever together. Do I have an STD?
Dr. Phil
I think he is smarter than me cuz he gave Point A and Point B. He said the children are no safe with such and such. Simple as that. I said just give the kids back to the mom because the situation with the other parents was inappropriate. I think they were all nice, maybe had some prerogatives of their own, as people I come across seem to have. I'd have to say no to the man cuz he seemed to wanna hurt me. I don't want to simply put myself in a situation. I already know that. If someone wants to off me cuz I'm there, I say no. I do something back or leave. I can't tell the police. Because it was just how they acted, their attitude. Also, if it was someone who did something to me, they would get back and know I told. Unless, I know I could get'm for good, I guess, but that sounds really weird and dangerous. I think that the mother/grandma was a bit harsh but more considerate than the guy. I think they are good together. She wants someone who will do something to her without backing off, backing off in love. I think that girl, who is nice, need' to get in rehab. I think there should be a court order to put the girls elsewhere, even if with the drug addict mom. Lotta parents secretly do drugs. They don't abuse children.
Problem
They are being suggestive to me by telling people around me and online that they know something about me that the experimenters told them.
What I Wanna Take
1 - Child/Adolescent (infancy thru adolesence)
2 - Adult Learner (higher education)
2 - Adult Learner (higher education)
My E-Mail to the Department of Education @ a Community College
I want to get a DME, a doctorate of music education. Would the AA in Music Ed at Seminole State be a good foundation? Didn't it used to list more music courses, like the BME? They take music theory? I think I have enough music electives. Should I take music theory, anyway? Thanks. I have a meeting set with someone in Music for the fall. He wants to see me in September, as of now. Also, do you know why SS took away sports and ballet/dance? Why did they do that now? I think the Music Education program looks like more fun. I believe in the graduate level, they are more music courses. I know I wanna do summer school and music you have to start in the Fall. Maybe, I can take some Education courses then.
I see Introduction to the Teaching Profession and Introduction to Diversity for Educators are available in the summer. It says we need 6 hours of international/diversity/modern foreign language. 1 of these requirements is already listed, so we need 3 or 6 more education hours than the courses already listed here: https://www.seminolestate.edu/education/aadegrees/edu-mus? I plan to come into the school sometime, to ask some questions, in case you don't understand me.
From the looks of it, I think I will take Music Theory, in the fall and spring. I might have to do my general studies later. I don't know what I will be advised to take when. I'm not looking for a heavy course load. I guess I will take the 2 education courses in the summer. The tech course I can take maybe next year. Perhaps, I will still take private voice when I'm finished with the other requirements an dam working on general studies. I do have an interest in music performance, as well, in singing. I took piano/organ/voice my 1st year. So, I'll do 2 courses of education in the summer and focus on music in the fall and spring or whatever the adviser tells me to do with a light enough course load yet at a pace that is conducive to my future.
I am 28 years old, by the way. Music Education was my original major. I went on a break and got "sick."
Thanks!
Sincerely,
Christina Barrett
I see Introduction to the Teaching Profession and Introduction to Diversity for Educators are available in the summer. It says we need 6 hours of international/diversity/modern foreign language. 1 of these requirements is already listed, so we need 3 or 6 more education hours than the courses already listed here: https://www.seminolestate.edu/education/aadegrees/edu-mus? I plan to come into the school sometime, to ask some questions, in case you don't understand me.
From the looks of it, I think I will take Music Theory, in the fall and spring. I might have to do my general studies later. I don't know what I will be advised to take when. I'm not looking for a heavy course load. I guess I will take the 2 education courses in the summer. The tech course I can take maybe next year. Perhaps, I will still take private voice when I'm finished with the other requirements an dam working on general studies. I do have an interest in music performance, as well, in singing. I took piano/organ/voice my 1st year. So, I'll do 2 courses of education in the summer and focus on music in the fall and spring or whatever the adviser tells me to do with a light enough course load yet at a pace that is conducive to my future.
I am 28 years old, by the way. Music Education was my original major. I went on a break and got "sick."
Thanks!
Sincerely,
Christina Barrett
Music Education
It seems they made it more into an Education AA rather than a Music AA. They also took out sports and dance. Ever since I "got in trouble" at another community college. Who's meddling in my life?
Letting Go
I did seem mad at someone, but I guess you just wanna be the judge of what happens. True, it's not good. I'm just a bit out of it, maybe from living in Orlando. Everyone is always racist and tells me it's cuz I'm bad. I dunno what to do. I told you what I really mean and it just came off that way. I dunno. My dad had just annoyed me a lot, too. I bet he made it that way, which I don't like. I'm pretty sure, for I know I mean what I mean. It just seems bad.
Problem
So, I have something to look forward to at night, but that's it. No, free morning cuz I go to bed late. I awoke to dinner, today.
How I Was Upset
Seems maybe I was upset at someone innocent, but I'll have you know I can't do that and was upset perhaps at the source simply cuz it was the source. I was upset tho that this person is taking over my life. I see them around, and it can be okay an often desired. I don't wish to follow this. Do I wanna be upset? Well, no, but my feelings are hurt and I'm annoyed. It takes over every facet of my life in ways, socially.
And
I don't mean to be rude cuz I looked the person up and don't have problems with them themselves. I know someone wants me to do this, but I don't take that!
Problem
I don't wanna talk with this person all the time. That's how I feel, and that's what I said.
Problems
Well, I woke up happy, as usual, and my parents had a bad attitude towards me. My dad is crazy and wants me to act self-hating that he thinks I did things wrong that I didn't.. I don't mean to think these bad words, but I think he quickly made me think them.
Something I just couldn't stand was that someone made it start that someone will always steal attention from me cuz I cursed about them on my blog, well at what they did I think moreover. I was taken aback if I did it at them and even had to use my dad as a scapegoat, who was really mean to me. I never tried to scar him when I did.
Something else is that they said I did something to deserve to listen to them act like they are some person watching me all the time.
Someone is mad and manipulative over my life, too.
The person they are acting as is false and annoying. She doesn't really do that, what they do as her, to me. I don't really wanna listen to this person being recreated in my room 24/7. They said I did something. I got upset on my blog. Someone's just a stickler for all caps and "all up in my business." They've acted like this person since mid-2012. It can't hurt anyone's feelings if I don't wanna do this. No one would really want me as that. I can admit it.
I'm upset at what's at stake. It might not matter to you, but it matters to me. They were at it, or my dad was, at supper. Whatever he did was annoying and I wanted it to stop the whole time. Did you know my dad is glued to my mom, as well as me, being attractive as girls? Yet, when I say something, he just ignores that and tramples over me. He thinks my mom is better and thinks I'm not cuz I'm related to him or maybe his mom or something. I dunno, I just come out for supper and he acts all large and in charge and manipulative. I feel kinda trained and affected by him. He doesn't do that to my mom, but he does something. It wasn't really all about something important, he was just really whiny, like he thought he could get close to me but can't or something, cuz he thinks I only deserve it in a way that he hates me. I'd describe his emotions towards me as a kid as more like a businessman, his hugs very "cool" and businessy. They don't have to dress up anymore, neither, I've seen in certain situations thru the years. I bet the girls are dressier than the guys, these days..
So, he was just kinda mad at me in general. Something was the issue near the beginning. I can't change what people wanna give to me, of course, but I didn't like what they claimed I did. How perverted.
I am a bit upset that my dad must be upset at me for thinking, like, "No, stop it," all the time. This is all very ridiculous, my problems, from people like my dad just wanting to be mean with no reasoning behind it.
I know what they are doing about that person, but they said I did something to deserve it. I'm not taking any of that from anyone. I don't know how to get it to stop, but I sure don't "accept" it. Esp. if it's all supposedly something I deserve. I know this person thinks that me and other deserve meanness. That's something else. They even said they were too embarrassed to say if something was wrong, as though they didn't know what was gonna happen.
It's a bit upsetting. Who wants to know someone with a life like mine? People think I'm either too old or too young. Can that be true? No one has to pay attention to me. When they do, I try to be nice, but some of them or a lot are older and I just can't provide some things. I have a great magnetation to people my age. On TV yesterday was a girl who looked my age talking about science and ghosts, in war. I think people don't realize all the time how bad war really is. It's not a service but a sacrifice.
So, I am always nice, but my dad keeps hurting me. My mom barged in when something seemed bad about me, and he was wheezy and said she needed her meds. I was upset but didn't really hurt her. She made it up. I just said it in a way that wasn't submissive and she tried to "suck out my soul.." I think it might be because my dad was there. I try to be nice to everyone, but I just couldn't ignore my dad's constant shuffling around.
Something I just couldn't stand was that someone made it start that someone will always steal attention from me cuz I cursed about them on my blog, well at what they did I think moreover. I was taken aback if I did it at them and even had to use my dad as a scapegoat, who was really mean to me. I never tried to scar him when I did.
Something else is that they said I did something to deserve to listen to them act like they are some person watching me all the time.
Someone is mad and manipulative over my life, too.
The person they are acting as is false and annoying. She doesn't really do that, what they do as her, to me. I don't really wanna listen to this person being recreated in my room 24/7. They said I did something. I got upset on my blog. Someone's just a stickler for all caps and "all up in my business." They've acted like this person since mid-2012. It can't hurt anyone's feelings if I don't wanna do this. No one would really want me as that. I can admit it.
I'm upset at what's at stake. It might not matter to you, but it matters to me. They were at it, or my dad was, at supper. Whatever he did was annoying and I wanted it to stop the whole time. Did you know my dad is glued to my mom, as well as me, being attractive as girls? Yet, when I say something, he just ignores that and tramples over me. He thinks my mom is better and thinks I'm not cuz I'm related to him or maybe his mom or something. I dunno, I just come out for supper and he acts all large and in charge and manipulative. I feel kinda trained and affected by him. He doesn't do that to my mom, but he does something. It wasn't really all about something important, he was just really whiny, like he thought he could get close to me but can't or something, cuz he thinks I only deserve it in a way that he hates me. I'd describe his emotions towards me as a kid as more like a businessman, his hugs very "cool" and businessy. They don't have to dress up anymore, neither, I've seen in certain situations thru the years. I bet the girls are dressier than the guys, these days..
So, he was just kinda mad at me in general. Something was the issue near the beginning. I can't change what people wanna give to me, of course, but I didn't like what they claimed I did. How perverted.
I am a bit upset that my dad must be upset at me for thinking, like, "No, stop it," all the time. This is all very ridiculous, my problems, from people like my dad just wanting to be mean with no reasoning behind it.
I know what they are doing about that person, but they said I did something to deserve it. I'm not taking any of that from anyone. I don't know how to get it to stop, but I sure don't "accept" it. Esp. if it's all supposedly something I deserve. I know this person thinks that me and other deserve meanness. That's something else. They even said they were too embarrassed to say if something was wrong, as though they didn't know what was gonna happen.
It's a bit upsetting. Who wants to know someone with a life like mine? People think I'm either too old or too young. Can that be true? No one has to pay attention to me. When they do, I try to be nice, but some of them or a lot are older and I just can't provide some things. I have a great magnetation to people my age. On TV yesterday was a girl who looked my age talking about science and ghosts, in war. I think people don't realize all the time how bad war really is. It's not a service but a sacrifice.
So, I am always nice, but my dad keeps hurting me. My mom barged in when something seemed bad about me, and he was wheezy and said she needed her meds. I was upset but didn't really hurt her. She made it up. I just said it in a way that wasn't submissive and she tried to "suck out my soul.." I think it might be because my dad was there. I try to be nice to everyone, but I just couldn't ignore my dad's constant shuffling around.
Strange Dreams
1 I remember was I was on the Phil show. He looked like he was looking at my dad and asked, "So, do you wanna do this..?" I think he nodded and covered his face cuz he was about the same age.
Problem
Why won't they stop? They aren't stopping being picky about how I act and doing something I don't like.
@Robin_McGraw @DrPhil fun fun fun fun fun fun - a bouncy bubble - I love bouncing on the road. Gum is yum! 🍒 👀 Such a nice shoot! 👓 💫 🐯 😀
— Christina Barrett (@Christina4333) January 27, 2015
Facebook - Robin McGraw
taking pictures with results
I did that today at Disney but nothing. Good advice.
---
her beauty product
Ice skating works. It gave me skin patches, fairer skin.. It got to where I couldn't do it in the end, tho, so I can't keep doing it. Yes, I could go back. This product is lovely! I hope it makes my skin fairer like when I ice skated!
I did that today at Disney but nothing. Good advice.
---
her beauty product
Ice skating works. It gave me skin patches, fairer skin.. It got to where I couldn't do it in the end, tho, so I can't keep doing it. Yes, I could go back. This product is lovely! I hope it makes my skin fairer like when I ice skated!
I do like everyone and this person in particular.
They just keep like acting funnily and rubbing it in trying to annoy me with such a nice person.. maybe they are jealous. :( Good they have an interest/attraction? :) You know what to do.
Disturbed
My parents sent part of a message that slammed in pretty hard. It's about this "character" and supposedly person.
Problem
They keep pretending every time I load a page it is a certain person. I don't want the character they are creating to rub off.
I know it's wrong cuz they think they found a "gifted" reason to punish me.
I know it's wrong cuz they think they found a "gifted" reason to punish me.
Dr. Phil - Twitter
when strict parenting goes too far
When you like other kids better than your own. My mom wondered why I wasn't outgoing about things like others..
---
Be happy with life as it is and know good things will come.
---
At least gays don't all believe in drugs.
---
people who have nothing to hide
They need a hideout and can hide their body parts when getting dressed.. ahahahahaha how unusual of me to think. ;o
---
I have no idea, I guess it all boils down to if your spouse is an opposites attract. I heard all marriages were that or love..
When you like other kids better than your own. My mom wondered why I wasn't outgoing about things like others..
---
Be happy with life as it is and know good things will come.
---
At least gays don't all believe in drugs.
---
people who have nothing to hide
They need a hideout and can hide their body parts when getting dressed.. ahahahahaha how unusual of me to think. ;o
---
I have no idea, I guess it all boils down to if your spouse is an opposites attract. I heard all marriages were that or love..
Dr. Phil
An important show to me I've seen is Forensic Files cuz I worry about the safety of each and every person.
I liked the show today. The father was unbelievably nice. It seemed like my situation, except I'm in the garage. I tried to m********* to go to Heaven.
I think people need to learn that if you are at a level of perfection, you need to make a change and you will be good at different things and not just that one thing. You want that one thing to get better and better, but it won't. (Got the idea also from American Dad, right now.)
I am worried the girls might do something bad or something bad will happen to them. How did they get the money for food??
I liked the show today. The father was unbelievably nice. It seemed like my situation, except I'm in the garage. I tried to m********* to go to Heaven.
I think people need to learn that if you are at a level of perfection, you need to make a change and you will be good at different things and not just that one thing. You want that one thing to get better and better, but it won't. (Got the idea also from American Dad, right now.)
I am worried the girls might do something bad or something bad will happen to them. How did they get the money for food??
Dr. Phil - Facebook
I just know that the dad seems like the kind of personality who would descend into abusive behavior, but he's nice, nicer than those I've known..
---
I just know there has been a lot of confusion as to if daughters are as good as their moms these days because so many of them were flower children, and then it is this group of a generation who overshadow kids today, everyone knows that.
---
I think it is popular for people to just blurt out to imagine people in their underwear, as long as it isn't Ellen- I know I'm being watched with cameras in my room even with my invitation to not have to do this, tho I'd miss whoever doesn't wanna meet me some other way. I assume I am in some solitary confinement. It really helps me that I get these messages, but I wish there were some normal way, like someone on a blog. No one is my friend, now, so that might be "why I get it." I can't really think like other people. There are other reasons. It may be why I can't stop letting bad words come to my mind sometimes. People don't like that, the people who experiment on me, as I say on my blog. F.y.i. no one seems to really communicate to me ever since this happened. It's a very different life and very sad and distressing, like being trapped in a box out in space.
---
My extended is a game of mix and match. LOL. My parents were gonna separate for my brother, so he wouldn't have to move when my dad gets a job. He liked his dog trainer, martial arts instructor, and tennis teacher. I knew all these people, and they treated me graciously. When the hurricane hit, we all moved. I am so sad! College has been so bad! My parents seem like they are in a game where they judge who I am compared to like my mom, like it (things) makes my Gramma mad, who just knows what goes on via phone. My dad doesn't always stand on his own 2 feet, what can I say, and wants his mom to influence him with advice and listens to her obediently in her insinuations yet lets me know when I ask that she does indeed bother her, as we've seen the drama in the past. The thing they do is if I do something, they blame my mom, who cannot see with one eye and who has breast cancer and supposedly bone cancer and I thought something else. It's hard to think of an example. I know I broke 2 or 3 computers that were already broken supposedly. I know I am deeply ashamed by all I've done, all accidental errors. I understand if I am not forgiven and have to "deal with the consequences."
---
I tried imagining my partner being like an exciting, upbeat, imaginative boy just slightly older by months. My other I fell for was like a twist on a "good" "devil" personality, who seemed a bit older. I can't settle on one thing. I will always love everything.
---
I have a lot of experience messing up in life, like my whole life every day. About me, myself, and I .. Making kids the best they can be seems to work out if you learn lessons from different people rather than expecting things from other people who just aren't up to it for whatever reason. It's a lotta trial than error, but in the end it is your responsibility. Why? So you cannot blame another person.
---
I don't believe in psychiatric medicine cuz it doesn't cure. As for those other drugs, I didn't think it was a joke.
---
People are not ready for kids. They have not come to terms with themselves. Still, they have them..at least.
---
I just know there has been a lot of confusion as to if daughters are as good as their moms these days because so many of them were flower children, and then it is this group of a generation who overshadow kids today, everyone knows that.
---
I think it is popular for people to just blurt out to imagine people in their underwear, as long as it isn't Ellen- I know I'm being watched with cameras in my room even with my invitation to not have to do this, tho I'd miss whoever doesn't wanna meet me some other way. I assume I am in some solitary confinement. It really helps me that I get these messages, but I wish there were some normal way, like someone on a blog. No one is my friend, now, so that might be "why I get it." I can't really think like other people. There are other reasons. It may be why I can't stop letting bad words come to my mind sometimes. People don't like that, the people who experiment on me, as I say on my blog. F.y.i. no one seems to really communicate to me ever since this happened. It's a very different life and very sad and distressing, like being trapped in a box out in space.
---
My extended is a game of mix and match. LOL. My parents were gonna separate for my brother, so he wouldn't have to move when my dad gets a job. He liked his dog trainer, martial arts instructor, and tennis teacher. I knew all these people, and they treated me graciously. When the hurricane hit, we all moved. I am so sad! College has been so bad! My parents seem like they are in a game where they judge who I am compared to like my mom, like it (things) makes my Gramma mad, who just knows what goes on via phone. My dad doesn't always stand on his own 2 feet, what can I say, and wants his mom to influence him with advice and listens to her obediently in her insinuations yet lets me know when I ask that she does indeed bother her, as we've seen the drama in the past. The thing they do is if I do something, they blame my mom, who cannot see with one eye and who has breast cancer and supposedly bone cancer and I thought something else. It's hard to think of an example. I know I broke 2 or 3 computers that were already broken supposedly. I know I am deeply ashamed by all I've done, all accidental errors. I understand if I am not forgiven and have to "deal with the consequences."
---
I tried imagining my partner being like an exciting, upbeat, imaginative boy just slightly older by months. My other I fell for was like a twist on a "good" "devil" personality, who seemed a bit older. I can't settle on one thing. I will always love everything.
---
I have a lot of experience messing up in life, like my whole life every day. About me, myself, and I .. Making kids the best they can be seems to work out if you learn lessons from different people rather than expecting things from other people who just aren't up to it for whatever reason. It's a lotta trial than error, but in the end it is your responsibility. Why? So you cannot blame another person.
---
I don't believe in psychiatric medicine cuz it doesn't cure. As for those other drugs, I didn't think it was a joke.
---
People are not ready for kids. They have not come to terms with themselves. Still, they have them..at least.
Monday, January 26, 2015
More
Someone is being mean to me all the time cuz I got mad when she was popular in my life and I don't give a care what my extended family has to say in my life.
Today
I went to Disney.
I'm mostly here now to talk about my problems. They keep saying the name of someone I don't wanna be closer to than others. They don't do that to this other person.
I'm mostly here now to talk about my problems. They keep saying the name of someone I don't wanna be closer to than others. They don't do that to this other person.
Problem
Stop sending me these negative messages. When I say I don't like something, you don't go all out and do it and invade my life!
Sorry
I did not sort my thoughts out about rubbing in someone in a way I don't like when I'm very mad and just said to stop.. Well, it seems you already know what you're doing. Sure, I mean I could be nice to someone, but I don't want it to ruin other things for me. I said I looked them up and was okay. Why are you taunting me with them? I don't believe it's necessary quite like that.
Getting Things
I don't have to, but like relationships matter. You can say you are tired of me. Not fight.
Apology Etc.
Sorry I got upset, but it happens to everyone. I thought they were playing around breaking my laptop. Guess a new one is only $150.
I feel a bit bothered, the noises.
Well, sorry.. I wasn't trying to start anything. I just felt so powerless about my life. Guess you don't like that. 'Try not to. I don't have such bad things about me I start that I can't function.
I feel a bit bothered, the noises.
Well, sorry.. I wasn't trying to start anything. I just felt so powerless about my life. Guess you don't like that. 'Try not to. I don't have such bad things about me I start that I can't function.
I wonder why people make fun of them. Maybe, they were threatened out of what they like an other people. Would be nice to meet, another fat chance. Hm, why do I sense I cannot live in the world. Maybe, I better stay away. :( I see other people may in the future have some things going for them without this hassle.
Nice People
But I don't like what you did.
I just looked them up.
What about the other people? You are a sicko what you suggested. I'm all alone, as far as I'm concerned, with you around.
I just looked them up.
What about the other people? You are a sicko what you suggested. I'm all alone, as far as I'm concerned, with you around.
Problem
Stop coming in and trying to make me feel inappropriate things. You want me to suck my soul out for these girls all tacky. You want them to live the life and you bother me. I wasn't mean to them. You put them in the wrong direction! Ask anyone!
Problem
You just mathematically eat away at my life. You're sick. I already said what I said, and you didn't listen.
What?
What do you mean I don't deserve relationships with anyone? I was upset you stole from me illegally. This isn't a game. I didn't go insane. I was very mad. So what? What do you expect? It's not something that just happened. You did it for no good reason.
Problem
I was listening to some music on my tablet and before did a Print Screen using the volume key as directed .. and now it doesn't work. Some freak.
Don't tell me what I can't get you criminal.
Don't tell me what I can't get you criminal.
Problem
The sound on my computer isn't working cuz I said I lost a friendship cuza a girl. I DON'T CARE. YOU'RE A CRIMINAL AND A SINNER. STOP ACTING LIKE YOU'RE SO SMART.
Stuff
I'm so excited I can't go to bed.
Sorry I was so messed up. Not sure what to do about that. I just maybe assumed too much was important to post. I just was trying to solve my discomfort about something/things. Didn't wanna talk about what was unwanted/not good to talk about, but I guess people need to talk if something's important in general.
Sorry I was so messed up. Not sure what to do about that. I just maybe assumed too much was important to post. I just was trying to solve my discomfort about something/things. Didn't wanna talk about what was unwanted/not good to talk about, but I guess people need to talk if something's important in general.
How Pathetic
You come in my privacy and insult me. You are a cheater. You wanna make sure no one makes it.
All because of that girl, someone stopped being my friend. In a way. But because of that supposedly.
And I am on meds in my home because of another girl.
I thought the 2nd 1 I mentioned wanted me to call the the N word. THOUGHT THEY WANTED ME TO. Now, I'm supposedly in a real fix cursing about putting noises in my room and people loading my computer in time to me.
The 1st, I just thought of how insulting it was to better that girl over me in some way. I stoppeda after, not really sure what was going on.
If I wanna not take the meds, I have to move out.
And I am on meds in my home because of another girl.
I thought the 2nd 1 I mentioned wanted me to call the the N word. THOUGHT THEY WANTED ME TO. Now, I'm supposedly in a real fix cursing about putting noises in my room and people loading my computer in time to me.
The 1st, I just thought of how insulting it was to better that girl over me in some way. I stoppeda after, not really sure what was going on.
If I wanna not take the meds, I have to move out.
About Me Getting Mad
Well, I was upset that if a Pennsylvanian asks something, when the answer is a good answer just saying "no" isn't some fairytale game of showing off. I'm not mad at some fact that was related to "the deed."
Problems
I do not want to mean to say I'm mad at certain people, things that seem not like them in some ways. Some of the things that made me mad were an offensive situation.
I feel that I am being tricked to get to know people in "ways" I don't wanna. You all want me to be like everyone else who messed up their life cuz you think that'll fix it rather than you owning up to that ya'll adults don't care for them.
I'm just mad in general at what happened. I did m*********. So, maybe "that ruined it for me." I did use all caps, but I don't mean anything terrifying exactly. I was concerned for some reason cuz it was being repeated to me. I guess they want to change places and think in such a way I'm a kid to be fascinated by something they say isn't even there..
About me not getting close to men, I dunno, maybe that's how it is, but I guess some men are more alluring. That's a problem. I didn't know that. Some guys know what not to do and what to do. The kind of guy my dad and his family is it just isn't so. The men are quiet, and the women are noisy. My dad probably wants to get close, but I don't think he matured to that, yet. I dunno, I don't want him to just copy other males.
I feel that I am being tricked to get to know people in "ways" I don't wanna. You all want me to be like everyone else who messed up their life cuz you think that'll fix it rather than you owning up to that ya'll adults don't care for them.
I'm just mad in general at what happened. I did m*********. So, maybe "that ruined it for me." I did use all caps, but I don't mean anything terrifying exactly. I was concerned for some reason cuz it was being repeated to me. I guess they want to change places and think in such a way I'm a kid to be fascinated by something they say isn't even there..
About me not getting close to men, I dunno, maybe that's how it is, but I guess some men are more alluring. That's a problem. I didn't know that. Some guys know what not to do and what to do. The kind of guy my dad and his family is it just isn't so. The men are quiet, and the women are noisy. My dad probably wants to get close, but I don't think he matured to that, yet. I dunno, I don't want him to just copy other males.
Sunday, January 25, 2015
How ridiculous is this?
All these people do anything to hurt me and sent me all these insults? I dunno if you know what all I'm thinking of, but they are hurting themselves.
Just because I've spoken a decent amount of an explanation
does not mean any of it was bad.
WHY ARE YOU ALL MAKING ME M*********!!
WHY ARE YOU ALL MAKING ME M*********!!
Liars
You're not supposed to hate me away because of this other person/these other people. You didn't, did you??
How pathetic they are, anyway. Does this mean war? Cuz I didn't do anything.
How pathetic they are, anyway. Does this mean war? Cuz I didn't do anything.
Who do I hate?
I dunno, but I hate how my life has been barged in on and judged and "left for dead."
Problem
People are treating this girl like she's a queen but did something perverted to me. So, I'm disturbed about being in this nonsensical situation. Taking advantage of a young adult.
Hm.
I see you new people still punished me to this day. I would have to punish everyone else in the world. Quit at me like that!
How Unfriendly
People keep coming in and getting crazily judgmental about these things applied to me. Like, I was okay, but maybe I'm not! Thanks a lot, Dad, for holding a grudge. When Mom said no, I listened.
Bella Thorne
I did the best workout there is, jogging, which is what I usually chose. Fuel for muscles, fueled with food! I've seen you at the gym and walking, too..
I did the best workout there is, jogging, which is what I usually chose. Fuel for muscles, fueled with food! I've seen you at the gym and walking, too..
Dr. Phil
Facebook
Then, he should leave them alone, unless the mother were abusive, but that's another thing we don't know, yet.
Then, he should leave them alone, unless the mother were abusive, but that's another thing we don't know, yet.
Guess what! :)
Bella Thorne is listed before Britney Spears
I bet Southern Europeans are running this sho' cuz I didn't make it. I almost did once.
link
I bet Southern Europeans are running this sho' cuz I didn't make it. I almost did once.
link
Whew
Sorry things were so hectic today, but it got me over it to post it and just let it go away, I guess, in some ways. Nothing to be mad about, but maybe that's the goal in a way. Not sure what it means, maybe nothing happened? If it did, then I'd just be questionable about lingering on it in detail. I found it suggestive and in ways like something sneaky. Oh well. I think I found out it wasn't just something that doesn't matter but something people were at me for. Something that meant something to others. It makes sense, but I know people are looking at me like they can treat me badly because of my race. That concerns a lotta things if not most all in some ways, I mean, race.
If you think someone is better
see how much they can make their schedule bend to their bodily and social needs. Like the famous people.
Funny
I thought of something really weird, but no one cares about my life.
I am sorry for the nature of the thought. I was doing something. It was a "what if" thought. I don't know.. I have to suffer someone else's inklings. I don't trust them, anymore. O boo hoo! Ah ha ha! I bet they wish that like no one but them existed or that everyone else was ugly or something like that.
I am sorry for the nature of the thought. I was doing something. It was a "what if" thought. I don't know.. I have to suffer someone else's inklings. I don't trust them, anymore. O boo hoo! Ah ha ha! I bet they wish that like no one but them existed or that everyone else was ugly or something like that.
The LA Takeover
They want the rest of the world to be as lame as they are cuz they are jealous. It's time to move---OUT!
Shocked? Important?
I was just explaining how things were. I'm tired of this one person being crazy at me, anyone. Just forget bothering them to bother me.
Adults Fighting
to make people born in 1997-1998 feel more special. Say no to all other kids who are older.
Problem
They slowed down how the page loads on IMDb. They think I "said something" and need to do this for them.
To Sum It Up
So, this girl is being all prim and proper punishing me for parental age people.
Wow, she do a lotta work for a lotta money, think they all can punish me, like maybe she's better. You are getting me back for things when I'm very good and do what I'm supposed to do. Got a little grudge? Have it no more. I don't believe in this, and ya'll are mean and how bad is that??
Wow, she do a lotta work for a lotta money, think they all can punish me, like maybe she's better. You are getting me back for things when I'm very good and do what I'm supposed to do. Got a little grudge? Have it no more. I don't believe in this, and ya'll are mean and how bad is that??
How Mean and Beastly
Every time I want something, this person says something against me to fly and float it past.
Predicament
I'm tired of this person lacing all the messages with me with utter hate. She wants someone else to live the dream over me. She has no right to punish me. She keeps acting like I'm guilty, and I'm getting sick of it. I don't wanna see her perverted creations in the world, the whirlpool of hatred. She'll make some excuse to get people off her temporarily. She's just a machine in a way exerting hatred and ruining people's esteem. What is the meaning of all this? I can see her denying it to make me look bad, but I didn't tell you who all it was.
RACIST!
Pampering only 1 person and not the other.
Perhaps, it is you who do not need any benefits in life.
Apology (was not talking to the person in the picture)
Post by Bella Thorne.
Perhaps, it is you who do not need any benefits in life.
Apology (was not talking to the person in the picture)
More
Post by Bella Thorne.
This girl either needs or is getting help. Ugh! I hate that.
You know big sis has a handle on her. ;o BFFs. ;o
Ugh!
Post by Bella Thorne.
THIS girl is gonna learn it's not all about her but that other people can be made more attractive! Ugh, I hate that.
Issue
I don't really have problems with what I'm thinking of, but I see they are literally "pleasure"ing up someone who cares for no one but herself. Like, oh yea Christina is a loser maybe and I don't know about what I have other than that I'm not the 1 in the same way. Like, okay Christina you're a loser, when I'm the one who just thought of some related issue. Like, she doesn't realize that people are being mean to me and like she doesn't have to care, which she doesn't, but why speak to me in such a manner? I don't think she is supposed to do it, but I dunno.. Like, she is making fun of me being looked down on, without really thinking about it. Nevermind who all does this and who it might be I'm talking about. I dunno who made this idea, but I bet it wasn't her..
Like, oh okay, I see you're upset. *sticks tongue out at me* Like I am proper and did it right, I didn't realize anything else is going on or matters concerning you. It's hard to describe.
So the reason I posted this is because it is important. About what happened, it makes sense, but I feel made fun of and uncomfortable. I don't think it really happened what you're thinking, it was sorta a lotta things happening. I dunno where it came from.
I see the person's thoughts stopping after thinking about it, like she won something, which is good, good for yas! Maybe, I lost, but I got some other messages along with what supposedly could have been symbolized. She didn't really go thru the kind of thing I did, too. What do these people ever do?? I don't want this to be my blog.
I don't wanna forever juggle this instance and as a conflict, neither.
I mean the person 1st makes the judgement and then stops thinking after that sorta offing me. Like, she's spoiled over others in some way and just doesn't have anything to say.
Sorry, I did not mean to twist the meaning or anything. Sorry the start of this post was a bit rough.
Like, oh okay, I see you're upset. *sticks tongue out at me* Like I am proper and did it right, I didn't realize anything else is going on or matters concerning you. It's hard to describe.
So the reason I posted this is because it is important. About what happened, it makes sense, but I feel made fun of and uncomfortable. I don't think it really happened what you're thinking, it was sorta a lotta things happening. I dunno where it came from.
I see the person's thoughts stopping after thinking about it, like she won something, which is good, good for yas! Maybe, I lost, but I got some other messages along with what supposedly could have been symbolized. She didn't really go thru the kind of thing I did, too. What do these people ever do?? I don't want this to be my blog.
I don't wanna forever juggle this instance and as a conflict, neither.
I mean the person 1st makes the judgement and then stops thinking after that sorta offing me. Like, she's spoiled over others in some way and just doesn't have anything to say.
Sorry, I did not mean to twist the meaning or anything. Sorry the start of this post was a bit rough.
Dr. Phil - Facebook
not telling parents you have problems with your marriage
I remember this case well. You're right, it's like lying and your parents might not get that.
---
you can be the star of your own show in life
That's not really true for me in my conscience.
I remember this case well. You're right, it's like lying and your parents might not get that.
---
you can be the star of your own show in life
That's not really true for me in my conscience.
cont.
the people experimenting on me changing how things load on my computer and noises in the garage where I stay.
Spoiled Brats
People born around 1960 think that babies should not have exsited and think they have the magic button of righteousness just because they are jealous.
Blondes just feel they were better people.
You can see it in their ability to stay flushed. How sick is that. That's not how you keep your hair blonde, is it?
So
Congratulations to you being set to win cuz it was about me.. but I wanted it to be about me more like that insofar as this person is considered so good and to rise to the top of all putting me down. I never asked to change my life for the worse but to feed me more attention of lesser quality. No one needs that.
So, I harbor no hard feelings on this innocent person, even if life gets in the way and makes it hard, "as it does for us all." I am only happy they can enjoy things. I hope they get to enjoy it as much as I do. I'm not really hear harboring all the attention. People aren't really nice to me much: these noises in my room and the way the computer loads and the annoying way my parents and others act.
So, I harbor no hard feelings on this innocent person, even if life gets in the way and makes it hard, "as it does for us all." I am only happy they can enjoy things. I hope they get to enjoy it as much as I do. I'm not really hear harboring all the attention. People aren't really nice to me much: these noises in my room and the way the computer loads and the annoying way my parents and others act.
Problems
I had a dream of something, and someone else probably got the real deal. I was very mad, and my dad came in and acted like, "See? That's it." He didn't see me mad.
They are constantly making annoying noises at me and claimed I thought in a gloss something inappropriate about someone.
I noticed they are thinking my aunt's husband is better cuz he wasn't a farmer. My dad doesn't seem to act right, quite, but I'm still flooded with his annoyance.
It was wrong of you to rub in something to me about someone. I'm not talking to anyone in particular. I do mean something in particular. I just don't want it to get worse.
Kinda what happened to me was very inappropriate.
I am not a spoiled brat. They still did it and I can't change it. I didn't do anything. You're so nice to other people.
I bet they are so mean or "cheap" that they are using something wrong my old friends believe in in making fun of me with some things.
Now, they cannot change what they did to me and they probably did it right for someone else or could already. Others probably all get it that way. I'm particularly upset if a certain someone is getting it, but I don't want to take it from them.
They keep rubbing in wrong things/lies to me. Like, they are taunting me about the order I did something.
This will never be okay by me. I do not forgive things that cannot change. I'm not talking to anyone in particular. I know this was done for someone else. You all just make me fat on these meds and call me ugly and worthless. You don't have a right to dig into the lives of others like that, thinking you're the Santa Claus of social class.
So, I am not trying to talk of anyone in particular and don't mean that in that way. I know it's the laid back efforts of a group of people manipulating my life. If not, then so be it. I won't complain quite like this unless I know it's because of others, but it still seems to be the same kinda situation to at least talk about. I don't wanna talk about it, but we'll see what I find.
You all show someone off over me. I didn't "lose." I'm just not a drama queen, and these med make me tired and fatter. I'm underprivileged, gypped and framed. I don't want uncool things.
My dad came home, not quite right how he was so I wanted him to leave me alone after since I was out at the time I said hi. I don't mean anything, but I was upset. I know the facts. I just know that someone else got something over me. They supposedly deserve something better. People keep stealing from me and maybe in some way others to make it better for someone else and to rub it in. I feel I am eternally mad, I must admit. "Ooh, you missed a spot." I never did anything bad. They made something for me in a situation I will not accept. I can tap into it. I think it was the day mom rubbed in something mean to me from someone else being "better" supposedly. I am being taunted by a certain somebody..
So, I dunno, I feel I have an emotional scar or disability/handicap. I mean nothing bad to the other person involved in the same position. I don't see why it was done 1st, like it has to mean anything or is even that important in such a manner. It's like people really don't care about it. I know the message is in the negative. You all rub in someone for someone else, and I don't think it matters and you're lying I deserve this and that I'm bad which supposedly means that. I don't give a care about ya'll. I'm good. I don't need your guidance. This is a real nuisance, I'll have you know. I get too many problems from you all every day. I cannot get back an answer in the affirmative, which they think I got.. or think I would even get. How cruel was this? Just "in case?" Or people just really hate me when they follow me and this other person around? I'll say what I like. I don't care about ya'll.
As to what it was, the only problem is the way they arranged things and how they make other people feel better off than me now. I don't really care to discus this other than the fact I am scarred. I know other people are being treated okay. I am happy with things and not picky, but I can see this coming. Someone keeps "making it right" for someone else. I don't seem to matter. I could d** right now, and it would be seen my life is so bad.
They are constantly making annoying noises at me and claimed I thought in a gloss something inappropriate about someone.
I noticed they are thinking my aunt's husband is better cuz he wasn't a farmer. My dad doesn't seem to act right, quite, but I'm still flooded with his annoyance.
It was wrong of you to rub in something to me about someone. I'm not talking to anyone in particular. I do mean something in particular. I just don't want it to get worse.
Kinda what happened to me was very inappropriate.
I am not a spoiled brat. They still did it and I can't change it. I didn't do anything. You're so nice to other people.
I bet they are so mean or "cheap" that they are using something wrong my old friends believe in in making fun of me with some things.
Now, they cannot change what they did to me and they probably did it right for someone else or could already. Others probably all get it that way. I'm particularly upset if a certain someone is getting it, but I don't want to take it from them.
They keep rubbing in wrong things/lies to me. Like, they are taunting me about the order I did something.
This will never be okay by me. I do not forgive things that cannot change. I'm not talking to anyone in particular. I know this was done for someone else. You all just make me fat on these meds and call me ugly and worthless. You don't have a right to dig into the lives of others like that, thinking you're the Santa Claus of social class.
So, I am not trying to talk of anyone in particular and don't mean that in that way. I know it's the laid back efforts of a group of people manipulating my life. If not, then so be it. I won't complain quite like this unless I know it's because of others, but it still seems to be the same kinda situation to at least talk about. I don't wanna talk about it, but we'll see what I find.
You all show someone off over me. I didn't "lose." I'm just not a drama queen, and these med make me tired and fatter. I'm underprivileged, gypped and framed. I don't want uncool things.
My dad came home, not quite right how he was so I wanted him to leave me alone after since I was out at the time I said hi. I don't mean anything, but I was upset. I know the facts. I just know that someone else got something over me. They supposedly deserve something better. People keep stealing from me and maybe in some way others to make it better for someone else and to rub it in. I feel I am eternally mad, I must admit. "Ooh, you missed a spot." I never did anything bad. They made something for me in a situation I will not accept. I can tap into it. I think it was the day mom rubbed in something mean to me from someone else being "better" supposedly. I am being taunted by a certain somebody..
So, I dunno, I feel I have an emotional scar or disability/handicap. I mean nothing bad to the other person involved in the same position. I don't see why it was done 1st, like it has to mean anything or is even that important in such a manner. It's like people really don't care about it. I know the message is in the negative. You all rub in someone for someone else, and I don't think it matters and you're lying I deserve this and that I'm bad which supposedly means that. I don't give a care about ya'll. I'm good. I don't need your guidance. This is a real nuisance, I'll have you know. I get too many problems from you all every day. I cannot get back an answer in the affirmative, which they think I got.. or think I would even get. How cruel was this? Just "in case?" Or people just really hate me when they follow me and this other person around? I'll say what I like. I don't care about ya'll.
As to what it was, the only problem is the way they arranged things and how they make other people feel better off than me now. I don't really care to discus this other than the fact I am scarred. I know other people are being treated okay. I am happy with things and not picky, but I can see this coming. Someone keeps "making it right" for someone else. I don't seem to matter. I could d** right now, and it would be seen my life is so bad.
Problem
They are spinning the fat or meat on my face. I can feel it jiggle as I type on my neck.
How pathetic and mean and dishonest. Boy, if someone caught you.
How pathetic and mean and dishonest. Boy, if someone caught you.
Story
There was a smart girl fairy without wings without elf ears regular size named Christina. She had a friend named Bella who was an angel of the Lord. Christina was 25, and Bella was only 15. Christina was dressed in purple, and Bella in yellow. There was another friend who was 15 named Chloe Grace. She wore green, like Tinkerbell. So, they were 3 normal girls. Chloe was a witch, tho.
They all sat on a bank eating some delicious sandwiches with exquisite sauce and bread. A wizard named Phil came up to them. Chloe and Christina shied away, but Bella said, "Hi!"
"Hello," said Phil as he bent over and tipped his cap. "Now, I need the help of someone-"
"I'll do it!" said Christina, as though it was like joining the military.
"Okay," he turned her away. He gave Bella a goodbye rub. The 2 girls ran off together.
Christina tried to keep up the pace with him. She skipped along his long strides. He was 6'4" in real life, and she only had stood at 5'4".
"I want you to come on a trip with us mortals," he said. He looked at her. "You're going to partake in a caravan with us all and look after children."
"Splendid!" she gave back.
The caravan was set. They all went. She watched over the children walking alongside the wagon where they sayed. She kept a sharp eye.
Finally, it was time to settle. They set a fire all around. Christina woke up and saw 2 red, glowing eyes staring at her. Another girl woke up who was about 5 and screamed. Phil, as did the others, picked up the girl. Christina darted toward the animal and off it went. What if it could leap over the fire? What if there were giant cats? Christina heaved. A nice boy who was 35 picked up Christina and kissed her. They went to bed.
Morning followed, and they reached the carnival. She went on the rather abandoned yet elaborately set up tunnel of love, and Phil was there with his best friend. He said hi. Christina laughed. She hated the ferris-wheel, for real. Phil kicked her onto it, and it was really all the drama. She hated the boat ride that swung back and forth and the tower rides. The 35-year-old boy who picked her up went with her, and she was so sick. She never touched a tower ride.
They all went back, in the end of some spectacular rides.
It was dangerous. Christina worked in the home of Phil taking care of kids. He studied these young kids. When they had to all leave she left with the kids and Phil and became the servant. Finally, the children left, and Christina went to Africa because she always loved it and learned to speak Afrikkans and lived in a nice house in a village she found.
The End again!
They all sat on a bank eating some delicious sandwiches with exquisite sauce and bread. A wizard named Phil came up to them. Chloe and Christina shied away, but Bella said, "Hi!"
"Hello," said Phil as he bent over and tipped his cap. "Now, I need the help of someone-"
"I'll do it!" said Christina, as though it was like joining the military.
"Okay," he turned her away. He gave Bella a goodbye rub. The 2 girls ran off together.
Christina tried to keep up the pace with him. She skipped along his long strides. He was 6'4" in real life, and she only had stood at 5'4".
"I want you to come on a trip with us mortals," he said. He looked at her. "You're going to partake in a caravan with us all and look after children."
"Splendid!" she gave back.
The caravan was set. They all went. She watched over the children walking alongside the wagon where they sayed. She kept a sharp eye.
Finally, it was time to settle. They set a fire all around. Christina woke up and saw 2 red, glowing eyes staring at her. Another girl woke up who was about 5 and screamed. Phil, as did the others, picked up the girl. Christina darted toward the animal and off it went. What if it could leap over the fire? What if there were giant cats? Christina heaved. A nice boy who was 35 picked up Christina and kissed her. They went to bed.
Morning followed, and they reached the carnival. She went on the rather abandoned yet elaborately set up tunnel of love, and Phil was there with his best friend. He said hi. Christina laughed. She hated the ferris-wheel, for real. Phil kicked her onto it, and it was really all the drama. She hated the boat ride that swung back and forth and the tower rides. The 35-year-old boy who picked her up went with her, and she was so sick. She never touched a tower ride.
They all went back, in the end of some spectacular rides.
It was dangerous. Christina worked in the home of Phil taking care of kids. He studied these young kids. When they had to all leave she left with the kids and Phil and became the servant. Finally, the children left, and Christina went to Africa because she always loved it and learned to speak Afrikkans and lived in a nice house in a village she found.
The End again!
cont.
I didn't mean anything by it other than it fit something, like @ the mood. I'm just some person online posting on her blog like any other person who would blot out the word and add "..." So let it go.
Problems
I'm not ignorant. People have problems because of their own hate and unwilingness to back down a confrontation. I seen it with my own 2 eyes.
Why would I sit here and communicate with you?
If my parents don't matter, the neither would someone else. You don't seem to believe anything suggestive like that, tho.
This is horrible.
My mom at present only sees thru one eye and is in glasses for the 1st time, like a year back.. and my dad seems to be picked on.
Things That Make No Sense
If I don't wanna be forever guilty like I'm a m*****er that needs to be locked up.
What if
what is best for Dr. Phil those "good" quality kids born in 1997-1998 rather than us messed up weirdos?
So
All because of my dad I can't resort to anything in life, even a healthy dieting habit in my mind and schedule.
Saturday, January 24, 2015
Upset
I am personally upset about all the cursing I did ruining things for me, but I've explained why. Basically, I think it is the right thing to do just to prove to people that anyone can communicate, not just bad guys. I was careful not to directly curse anyone, in some ways was upset at my dad bothering me but didn't take it out on someone else. I am sad people believe they need to get into my life all of a sudden and be mean to me, whoever does this.
So, what, just be sorry I was so stupid and supposedly mean? I have suffered a lot from others. Even my dad does not seem to know me in the right way. I am not gonna be tacky and say I accept this, and I must say it is not a nice thing to do to someone. My life seems always halted and tired with the unnecessary meds. I have to adjust to what's slammed into my face by the likes of people like my dad, who I care about, too. I don't wanna be treated like I'm okay, but I cannot forgive people for manipulating me and interfering me. People make mistakes, and I explained mine which was not really intentional. It's too bad. I have adamantly supported not torturing people in prison and finding out what's wrong with them because it is crazy to commit a crime more than being paranoid. I know it sets an example for others. Another thing I wonder is if not on a place online to get out your thoughts available sorta to the world, then how else? I had to relearn what I grew up seeing other people encouraging. I find if I am good, I do not get what I want still. Even when I didn't have grudges on me sorta. What I have to relearn is that it's not for me about saying whatever I feel to a close friend/person, but I have to always be on guard. See? That's something people are told to do. There's no answer. I'm not the baby of the world, like people born in 1997-1998. They would accept a mistake as small as "what" I've done overall from them. I didn't harass anyone. I didn't start the fights.
I am told that I can't figure out what was wrong. I do not want to live in the bad ways of things my dad does. Why is it all about who my dad is and not my mom in any good way?? They think it's blocked out as wrong already cuza how my dad thinks. Well, I am not gonna be the sacrificial lamb to get close to these ridiculous things.
So, these things do happen. I don't mean to rub in my innocence. I don't want someone else to have this happen to them, to be mocked in front of "important people" and the world. Can we talk about this? Or just go and watch others fall?
It's okay if you don't like me, but I'm not bad.
You might think I did bad things, but I grew up as a very good person 99.9%. Why be so mean to me? That is the only time you can get mad at someone, too, I learned growing up. So, I have to unlearn this, since you all made new rules I could not seem to register in my brain. I don't believe in Jesus, if that's what you're wondering. I believe he was a crazy man. Everyone today knows what Jesus said more than ever. To be nice and forgive. I can certainly see you all don't believe in Jesus, as well. You all don't even care if I d**, supposedly, but who knows, could happen.
So, yes, I am sorry for my stupidity but do not submit to you, you were mean to me, someone was. I don't submit to people. Is that cuza being Chinese? Why harass and be suggestive to my mom, too? I see my dad thinking my mom did it if he doesn't like something I was trying to think in private, often. I don't mean to be rude, but it sounds like I am submitting to bad people in apologizing properly.
You do act like I harassed someone, when I think I was just mad and they supposedly did it and I didn't really do anything like that directly at them like you think. I take it back. I don't mean it. You don't have to forgive me. Fine!
You all have announced you're liars and drained of any emotion for the likes of people such as myself. You used to act like the world was all that. But when I chose to open up, this is what it is. I never meant anything bad on purpose. I am 99.9% so careful, but if I do one thing by accident, probably fainting from stress and that I should react to insult.. you just take away my life and go on and want me to think about this 1 thing on and on. You never taught me nothing. You silently monitored and manipulated me. I was not provided with any emotion, so maybe I had none to judge with. I was harassed and tested and competed with because of being part Chinese. I don't wanna be mad about it, but it seems that's why I've gotten confused and done things without being able to think. You are just looking for unnatural ways of getting me in trouble and harming me in some way, emotionally or what be it. My dad should not be allowed to harm me in this. It seems he's gonna do it anyway. I probably would be taken away to an institute and later get out with a respectable life alone. But of the noises planted around me, maybe the police would accompany me in my new abode.
So, I am sorry for all I've done. I usually don't act directly mad, tho, so I don't like the inconvenience of people pretending I intend to be sarcastic. I am independent, and I didn't know I had problems. People always said how amazing I was until I grew up and racism came up even more.
I hope things are okay and you don't have to pay attention to me. About the fact people do, may I suggest finding ways of meeting other people of different ages and walks of life??
I hope it is okay I said all this. Trying to at least straighten things out as they are if I can now. I know you like to go crazy all over and pester/test me. Hope it works out?..
So, what, just be sorry I was so stupid and supposedly mean? I have suffered a lot from others. Even my dad does not seem to know me in the right way. I am not gonna be tacky and say I accept this, and I must say it is not a nice thing to do to someone. My life seems always halted and tired with the unnecessary meds. I have to adjust to what's slammed into my face by the likes of people like my dad, who I care about, too. I don't wanna be treated like I'm okay, but I cannot forgive people for manipulating me and interfering me. People make mistakes, and I explained mine which was not really intentional. It's too bad. I have adamantly supported not torturing people in prison and finding out what's wrong with them because it is crazy to commit a crime more than being paranoid. I know it sets an example for others. Another thing I wonder is if not on a place online to get out your thoughts available sorta to the world, then how else? I had to relearn what I grew up seeing other people encouraging. I find if I am good, I do not get what I want still. Even when I didn't have grudges on me sorta. What I have to relearn is that it's not for me about saying whatever I feel to a close friend/person, but I have to always be on guard. See? That's something people are told to do. There's no answer. I'm not the baby of the world, like people born in 1997-1998. They would accept a mistake as small as "what" I've done overall from them. I didn't harass anyone. I didn't start the fights.
I am told that I can't figure out what was wrong. I do not want to live in the bad ways of things my dad does. Why is it all about who my dad is and not my mom in any good way?? They think it's blocked out as wrong already cuza how my dad thinks. Well, I am not gonna be the sacrificial lamb to get close to these ridiculous things.
So, these things do happen. I don't mean to rub in my innocence. I don't want someone else to have this happen to them, to be mocked in front of "important people" and the world. Can we talk about this? Or just go and watch others fall?
It's okay if you don't like me, but I'm not bad.
You might think I did bad things, but I grew up as a very good person 99.9%. Why be so mean to me? That is the only time you can get mad at someone, too, I learned growing up. So, I have to unlearn this, since you all made new rules I could not seem to register in my brain. I don't believe in Jesus, if that's what you're wondering. I believe he was a crazy man. Everyone today knows what Jesus said more than ever. To be nice and forgive. I can certainly see you all don't believe in Jesus, as well. You all don't even care if I d**, supposedly, but who knows, could happen.
So, yes, I am sorry for my stupidity but do not submit to you, you were mean to me, someone was. I don't submit to people. Is that cuza being Chinese? Why harass and be suggestive to my mom, too? I see my dad thinking my mom did it if he doesn't like something I was trying to think in private, often. I don't mean to be rude, but it sounds like I am submitting to bad people in apologizing properly.
You do act like I harassed someone, when I think I was just mad and they supposedly did it and I didn't really do anything like that directly at them like you think. I take it back. I don't mean it. You don't have to forgive me. Fine!
You all have announced you're liars and drained of any emotion for the likes of people such as myself. You used to act like the world was all that. But when I chose to open up, this is what it is. I never meant anything bad on purpose. I am 99.9% so careful, but if I do one thing by accident, probably fainting from stress and that I should react to insult.. you just take away my life and go on and want me to think about this 1 thing on and on. You never taught me nothing. You silently monitored and manipulated me. I was not provided with any emotion, so maybe I had none to judge with. I was harassed and tested and competed with because of being part Chinese. I don't wanna be mad about it, but it seems that's why I've gotten confused and done things without being able to think. You are just looking for unnatural ways of getting me in trouble and harming me in some way, emotionally or what be it. My dad should not be allowed to harm me in this. It seems he's gonna do it anyway. I probably would be taken away to an institute and later get out with a respectable life alone. But of the noises planted around me, maybe the police would accompany me in my new abode.
So, I am sorry for all I've done. I usually don't act directly mad, tho, so I don't like the inconvenience of people pretending I intend to be sarcastic. I am independent, and I didn't know I had problems. People always said how amazing I was until I grew up and racism came up even more.
I hope things are okay and you don't have to pay attention to me. About the fact people do, may I suggest finding ways of meeting other people of different ages and walks of life??
I hope it is okay I said all this. Trying to at least straighten things out as they are if I can now. I know you like to go crazy all over and pester/test me. Hope it works out?..
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